Same rules apply--if you plan on using the sounds on a website, please give me credit or better yet, a link to my page--it's a lot of work to make these sounds and edit them! 

.wav format sounds: 

"Are you free, Mr. Humphries?"  "I"m free, Captain Peacock." -- 38.9 Kb

"Are you being served?" -- 23.1 Kb

"Are you being served, sir?" -- 27.2 Kb

"How come the egg is already awake to play the entrance music for the fairy queen?"  "Fairy prince." -- 118 Kb

"A glass of water for Mr. Grainger." -- 29.0 Kb

"I'm afraid you've come through to gnome-land." -- 44.5 Kb

"Men's wear." -- 27.1 Kb

"Thank you, Claybourne." -- 34.0 Kb

"The face eludes me, but I recognize the walk." -- 57.6 Kb

"I'm free!" -- 19.3 Kb

"Ooh, you're as weak as water.  Weak as water!" -- 88.7 Kb

Here's a long bit of laughter from "The Hero" as Captain Peacock's ailment is whispered from person to person.  It's a big file, but see if you can figure out who's laughing when. -- 342 Kb

"I'm mad about his aftershave."  "He probably splashes it all over...." -- 85.4 Kb

"Bing!  This is the Ladies' Department.  Knickers are down today." -- 74.5 Kb

"Right, Fairycake!"  "Oh!  So it's all comin' out now, is it?" -- 101 Kb

"But I feel so sorry for him...the rotten old bastard." -- 97.2 Kb

"I showed her something that altered her whole life." -- 67.4 Kb

"Peter Pan!" -- 25.1 Kb

"Common is as common does..." -- 176 Kb

"My ballpoint'll never function in this weather." -- 51.9 Kb

"Mrs. Slocombe, you're discharged."  "Discharged!?!" -- 157 Kb

"Ho, ho, ho, little boy..." -- 93.1 Kb

"Isn't that supposed to make you be sexy?  Is it?..." -- 173 Kb

"It was a great shock to Mr. Grainger to suddenly find ladies in his trousers." -- 71.2 Kb

"Don't start!  I am just in the mood!" -- 80.9 Kb

The following .wavs were courtesy of Young Mr. Grace of Grace Brothers.

"I've sat here and listened to some daft things..." -- 173 Kb 

"I'm game for anything." -- 40.5 Kb

"Good morning, everybody!  Good morning, Mr. Grace." -- 82.0 Kb

"I've left the gas on..." -- 351 Kb

"If she wanted to come over and give my Wibbly Wobblys a swing,..." -- 207 Kb


"Are You Being Served?" was known for the many song-and-dance numbers that were frequently performed, particularly in the season finale episodes.  I've trolled the web for these and hope to find more.  The below sounds are all in .mid format.  Many thanks to Laurel for finding "Mammy," "I've Got Rhythm," "Teddy Bears' Picnic," "Beside the Seaside," and "Chanson D'Amour", and thanks to Catey for finding "Who Can I Turn To? (When Nobody Needs Me)"!

"These Foolish Things" -- heard several times throughout the series.

"Mammy" -- sung by Humphries, Lucas and Grainger in "The Father Christmas Affair."

"Teddy Bears' Picnic" -- heard during "Happy Returns."  (Also sung by John Inman on his album, "Are You Being Served, Sir?")

"Steppin' Out With My Baby" -- from the musical, "Easter Parade"; sung by the cast in the finale of "Happy Returns."

"Kids" -- originally from the musical, "Bye, Bye, Birdie"; the cast sang this in the finale of "The Punch and Judy Affair."

"Beside the Seaside" -- Sung by the cast before practicing "We'll Keep a Welcome in the Hillsides" in "Roots?"

"Waiting For the Robert E. Lee" -- from "The Jazz Singer"; performed by the cast in the finale of "Roots?"

"Who Can I Turn To? (When Nobody Needs Me)" -- from the Broadway musical, "The Roar of the Greasepaint, The Smell of the Crowd"; sung by Mr. Humphries when he returns drunk from the pub in "Conduct Unbecoming."

"September Song" -- a bit of this was sung by Mr. Humphries in "Lost and Found."

"Night and Day" -- originally by Cole Porter; played by Captain Peacock in "The Nightclub."

"I've Got Rhythm" -- sung by the cast into Mr. Rumbold's phone in "The Pop Star."

"Chanson D'Amour" -- sung by Mr. Spooner and the rest of the cast in "The Pop Star."

I'm still trying to find an .mid file of "We'll Keep a Welcome in the Hillsides."