63. Goodbye, Mrs. Slocombe

GoodbyeMrs01.jpg (20887 bytes)The staff welcome Mrs. Slocombe back from sick leave. -- 20.3Kb

GoodbyeMrs02.jpg (21093 bytes)Trying to find out why Mrs. Slocombe was in the hospital. -- 20.5Kb

GoodbyeMrs03.jpg (21276 bytes) "She'll be gone by the end of the week."  "What do you mean?  All she had was an ingrowing toenail." -- 20.7Kb

GoodbyeMrs04.jpg (19265 bytes)"I feel like a hunter, stalkin' its prey." -- 18.8Kb

GoodbyeMrs05.jpg (22076 bytes)"You've just been made redundant." -- 21.5Kb

GoodbyeMrs06.jpg (21313 bytes)"Say it's not me." -- 20.8Kb

GoodbyeMrs07.jpg (17408 bytes)"Never underestimate the woman." -- 17.0Kb

GoodbyeMrs09.jpg (26712 bytes)"It's the Dolly Parton look.  They call it the '9 to 5'." -- 26.0Kb

GoodbyeMrs10.jpg (25573 bytes)Mrs. Slocombe takes a job in housekeeping. -- 24.9Kb

GoodbyeMrs11.jpg (24878 bytes)Miss Featherstone's fur coat gets ruined. -- 24.2Kb

GoodbyeMrs12.jpg (18577 bytes)"I can see it's going to be one of those days." -- 18.1Kb

GoodbyeMrs13.jpg (21235 bytes)Mrs. Slocombe becomes a window-washer. -- 20.7Kb

GoodbyeMrs14.jpg (21123 bytes)The staff notice Mrs. Slocombe outside the window. -- 20.6Kb

GoodbyeMrs15.jpg (23148 bytes)"Sorry, mate, but you shouldn't have opened the window." -- 22.6Kb

GoodbyeMrs16.jpg (21360 bytes)"May I remind you, Miss Featherstone, that I have the last say on this floor?" -- 20.8Kb

GoodbyeMrs17.jpg (25388 bytes) "Fancy accusing a senior floorwalker."  "Yeah, ridiculous.  By the way...good shot."  "I thought so, too...whoever did it." -- 24.7Kb

GoodbyeMrs18.jpg (19091 bytes)"She gets all worked up and then all her veins in her neck stand up like blue spaghetti." -- 18.6Kb

GoodbyeMrs19.jpg (20151 bytes) "Captain Peacock, do you think I could have a couple of hours off this afternoon, say, for a dental appointment?"  "I think I could write a chit to that effect, yes." -- 19.6Kb

GoodbyeMrs20.jpg (20420 bytes)"Is a no steak!  I cannot recommend the rhubarb, and the toad has jumped out of the hole." -- 19.9K

GoodbyeMrs21.jpg (22353 bytes)"Good afternoon, Madam.  May I help you?"  "You certainly can, you handsome man." -- 21.8Kb

GoodbyeMrs22.jpg (24235 bytes)Mr. Humphries gives Miss Featherstone a bad time. -- 23.6kb

GoodbyeMrs23.jpg (24120 bytes)"You shall never see my face in this store again." -- 23.5Kb

GoodbyeMrs24.jpg (20633 bytes)"Gents' Ready-Made, Ladies' Department.  Going up, mind the doors." -- 20.1Kb

64. Grounds For Divorce

Grounds01.jpg (24855 bytes)"Don't just stand there gaping--get back to your counters." -- 24.2Kb

Grounds02.jpg (25086 bytes)"I can't talk now." -- 24.2Kb

Grounds03.jpg (20761 bytes)"Well, where is the customer?"  "They've gone home to think about it." -- 20.2Kb

Grounds04.jpg (20216 bytes) "If you continue to get up my nose, I shall be forced to mention the number of days you leave early by the back entrance." -- 19.7Kb
Grounds05.jpg (20656 bytes) "I may seem a good-natured person, but I must warn you that I am capable of blowing my top!" -- 20.1Kb

Grounds06.jpg (24498 bytes)"No, do not come down here!" -- 23.9Kb

Grounds07.jpg (17586 bytes)Captain Peacock gets a thrill in the lift... -- 17.1Kb

Grounds08.jpg (20300 bytes)...which elicits some reactions from the staff. -- 19.8Kb

Grounds09.jpg (28839 bytes)28.1Kb

Grounds10.jpg (18840 bytes)"It's like 'Dallas!'" -- 18.3Kb

Grounds11.jpg (18638 bytes)"I'll just put some buns on me ears." -- 18.2Kb

Grounds12.jpg (25539 bytes)"Excuse me--I only said he was very popular.  I don't know him as well as that." -- 24.9Kb

Grounds13.jpg (22331 bytes)Brahms gets even for Mrs. Slocombe. -- 21.8Kb

Grounds14.jpg (21689 bytes)"Well, usually when I kiss people goodnight, I've got my handbag over my right arm... -- 21.1Kb

Grounds15.jpg (19742 bytes)"...so I hang my umbrella on it, and I...." -- 19.2Kb

Grounds16.jpg (20736 bytes)"Isn't one at a time enough?" -- 20.2Kb

Grounds17.jpg (26644 bytes)Trying to sell glasses. -- 26.0Kb

Grounds18.jpg (25093 bytes)"He's right, you know; take 'em off, you look ridiculous." -- 24.5Kb

Grounds19.jpg (24517 bytes)"A bit see-through, isn't it?" -- 23.9Kb

Grounds20.jpg (26537 bytes)"I wonder what he wants with that lot?" -- 25.9Kb

Grounds21.jpg (28580 bytes)"I must say, you look wonderful!"  "Thank you, my dear--and so do you." -- 27.9Kb

Grounds22.jpg (20158 bytes)"Have I missed something?" -- 19.6Kb

65. The Hold-Up

Holdup01.jpg (23921 bytes)"We're being robbed!" -- 23.3Kb

Holdup02.jpg (26247 bytes)"I told ya they was big." -- 25.6Kb

Holdup03.jpg (21113 bytes)"Not the sort of gentlemen you could reason with." -- 20.6Kb

Holdup04.jpg (22431 bytes)"I don't have to give you anything other than my name and number!" -- 21.9Kb

Holdup05.jpg (19508 bytes) "Oh, if only I'd gone in her place!  I'd have put up a real fight--for quite a long time." -- 19.0Kb

Holdup06.jpg (19206 bytes)"This is the police!  Come out with your hands up!" -- 18.7Kb

Holdup07.jpg (19348 bytes)"The police'll come and you'll be nicked!" -- 18.8Kb

Holdup08.jpg (19478 bytes)"Me legs have gone on strike again!" -- 19.0Kb

Holdup09.jpg (23786 bytes)"We disguise ourselves as the villains and take over." -- 23.2Kb

Holdup10.jpg (21063 bytes)"Come down and see me sometime." -- 20.5Kb

Holdup11.jpg (19391 bytes)"Okay, Tony, you can come in now." -- 18.9Kb

Holdup12.jpg (25338 bytes)"Hold-a me back, before I give 'em whatta for!" -- 24.7Kb

Holdup13.jpg (19880 bytes)"They do have rumors in the underworld." -- 19.4Kb

Holdup14.jpg (20269 bytes)"I won't forget this poor practical joke!" -- 19.7Kb

Holdup15.jpg (21191 bytes)"You no-a speak-a to my papa like-a that!" -- 20.6Kb

Holdup16.jpg (22883 bytes)"Whatta you know--he had a false legs!" -- 22.3Kb

Holdup17.jpg (17591 bytes)Miss Brahms gives Mr. Humphries a kiss for good luck. -- 17.1Kb

Holdup18.jpg (18865 bytes)"Looks like some kind of ice-cream seller." -- 18.4Kb

66. Gambling Fever

Gambling01.jpg (21476 bytes)"There is very little between those two." -- 20.9Kb

Gambling02.jpg (22460 bytes)"The heat from his exhaust nearly melted my tooty-fruities." -- 21.9Kb

Gambling03.jpg (18628 bytes)"I pawned my watch, my studs...even my medals." -- 18.1Kb

Gambling04.jpg (18557 bytes)"We've lost our bonus and all that money was going to go onto the next race." -- 18.1Kb

gambling05.jpg (25092 bytes)"It's 'Holiday Queen'." -- 24.5Kb

Gambling06.jpg (25348 bytes)'Inside Leg' wins the race. -- 24.7Kb

Gambling07.jpg (21400 bytes)"We won!" -- 20.8Kb

67. The Night Club

NightClub01.jpg (20927 bytes)"You're not goin' home like that, are you?"  -- 20.4Kb

NightClub02.jpg (22065 bytes)"I fill in for her every now and again." -- 21.5Kb

NightClub03.jpg (18660 bytes)"And when do you take your exam to go into the zoo?" -- 18.2Kb

NightClub04.jpg (20952 bytes)"We'll start with Captain Peacock, playing the piano." -- 20.4Kb

NightClub05.jpg (16435 bytes)"Good evening, sir, madam.  May I take your horder?" -- 16.0Kb

nightclub06.jpg (19919 bytes)"I've got a boyfriend built like a brick chickenhouse." -- 19.4Kb

NightClub07.jpg (24173 bytes)"I thought you were going to wear something simple." -- 23.6Kb

NightClub08.jpg (19614 bytes)"If you think you're so much better, then perhaps you'd better play." -- 19.1Kb

NightClub09.jpg (23747 bytes)"...and little man, little Lola wants you." -- 23.1Kb

NightClub10.jpg (23200 bytes)"Here's the alternative." -- 22.6Kb

NightClub11.jpg (20928 bytes)"Blimey!  That's more like it!" -- 20.4Kb

NightClub115.jpg (21469 bytes)"Just go back and stand over there, and try not to multiply." -- 20.9Kb

NightClub12.jpg (24624 bytes)"Why don't you prop her up a bit?" -- 24.0Kb

NightClub13.jpg (20070 bytes)"Not yet!" -- 19.5Kb

NightClub14.jpg (16798 bytes)"They're takin' their clothes off!" -- 16.4Kb

NightClub15.jpg (16426 bytes)"How would you and Miss Brahms like to pop out for some sweets?" -- 16.0Kb

NightClub16.jpg (18028 bytes)The movie wasn't what anyone had expected. -- 17.6Kb

NightClub17.jpg (19864 bytes)19.3Kb

NightClub18.jpg (22985 bytes)"I'll take everything down when you decide what you want." -- 22.4Kb

NightClub19.jpg (18363 bytes)"I'd like a bit of both, but...." -- 17.9Kb

NightClub20.jpg (23569 bytes) "I shall be performing 'Night and Day' on the piano.  And by the way, my name is Stephen Peacock."  "Oh my God!" -- 23.0Kb

NightClub21.jpg (20404 bytes)"All things bright and beautiful...." -- 19.9Kb

68. Friends and Neighbours

Friends01.jpg (20911 bytes)"Oh!  Good morning, Mr. Rumbold!" -- 20.4Kb

Friends02.jpg (27066 bytes)"Are you sure you was peddlin' the whole way?" -- 26.4Kb

Friends03.jpg (22095 bytes)"Would you like my pump up your proboscis?" -- 21.5Kb

Friends04.jpg (21542 bytes)Mr. Humphries skateboarded to work. -- 21.0Kb

Friends05.jpg (20907 bytes)"I hang onto the backs of buses as much as I can." -- 20.4Kb

Friends06.jpg (20559 bytes)"I was just bending down to tighten my nuts...." -- 20.0Kb

Friends07.jpg (24069 bytes) "My mother, who is not a young woman, has had to take up babysitting to supplement her income." -- 23.5Kb

Friends08.jpg (19481 bytes)"He's given me the sack for bein' a troublemaker." -- 19.0Kb

Friends09.jpg (22885 bytes)"I'm not sharin' with her."   "I don't think that's what she had in mind." -- 22.3Kb

Friends10.jpg (17235 bytes) "I guess Mr. Grace used to ring for his secretary when he wanted something taken down in a hurry." -- 16.8Kb

Friends11.jpg (17035 bytes)"Don't you start--I've got a very short fuse." -- 16.6Kb

Friends12.jpg (20956 bytes)Trying to ward off the odor of curry from downstairs. -- 20.4Kb

Friends13.jpg (22983 bytes)"We'll have a nice cup of tea.  Would you like a bean bag?" -- 22.4Kb

Friends14.jpg (18358 bytes)"I prefer Tetley's." -- 17.9Kb

Friends15.jpg (16856 bytes)"Are they going to make that noise all night?"   "I hope not." -- 16.4Kb

Friends16.jpg (23804 bytes)"Come sit next to me, Mr. Humphries, and give me a baby." -- 23.2Kb

Friends17.jpg (15899 bytes)"I only came in for a cup of tea." -- 15.5Kb

Friends18.jpg (18357 bytes)"He's just been to the loo." -- 17.9Kb

Friends19.jpg (20304 bytes)"People should not be allowed to have babies up here!" -- 19.8Kb

Friends20.jpg (20282 bytes)"Get on the bed and hold your breath." -- 19.8Kb

Friends21.jpg (21063 bytes)Peacock is recruited into helping Humphries baby-sit. -- 20.5Kb

Friends22.jpg (20906 bytes)"That's not roses--that's burning cods' heads!" -- 20.4Kb

Friends23.jpg (20978 bytes)"Sweetest little fellow, everybody knows...." -- 20.4Kb

69. The Pop Star

Pop01.jpg (22340 bytes)"If it's all right with you, I'd like to drop my trousers and display my Y-fronts." -- 21.8Kb

Pop02.jpg (20034 bytes)"It's all right, Mr. Humphries.  I know when I'm not wanted." -- 19.5Kb

Pop03.jpg (17431 bytes)"But it's me...Bert Spooner!" -- 17.0Kb

Pop04.jpg (21738 bytes)"Ooh, it's so nice to have you back!" -- 21.2Kb

Pop05.jpg (21395 bytes)"You could have any girl you wanted."  "Would that include you, Miss Brahms?" -- 20.8Kb

Pop06.jpg (22998 bytes)The staff demonstrate their talents over the phone." -- 22.4Kb

Pop07.jpg (22009 bytes)Mr. Spooner takes more medicine for his throat. -- 21.4Kb

Pop08.jpg (23800 bytes)The admiring housekeeping staff isn't being very helpful. -- 23.2Kb

Pop085.jpg (18080 bytes)"Do you really like me?" -- 17.6Kb

Pop09.jpg (22672 bytes)Letting the cleaning staff know where to go. -- 22.1Kb

Pop10.jpg (20722 bytes)"They've even fixed up for us to be on the 'Around London' programme tonight at 6:00." -- 20.2Kb

Pop105.jpg (17841 bytes)Posing for the photo in Mr. Rumbold's office. -- 17.4Kb

Pop11.jpg (20025 bytes) "I can't hold this expression much longer."  "Could you hurry up, please?  I'm running out of sincerity." -- 19.5Kb

Pop12.jpg (19870 bytes)"It's stuck!" -- 19.4Kb

Pop13.jpg (21890 bytes)"Get this flamin' thing off me head!" -- 21.3Kb

Pop135.jpg (24461 bytes)The backing group in full regalia. -- 23.8Kb

Pop14.jpg (20466 bytes)The big performance. -- 19.9Kb

Pop15.jpg (16275 bytes)Spooner loses his voice. -- 15.8Kb

Pop16.jpg (21207 bytes)"Chanson d'Amour" at double-time. -- 20.7Kb

Pop17.jpg (18062 bytes)"It's just not my day." -- 17.6Kb

Pop18.jpg (25013 bytes)The very last scene of "Are You Being Served?".