41. The Junior

Junior01.jpg (20435 bytes)"Mr. Humphries is to be the new senior." -- 19.9Kb

Junior02.jpg (18317 bytes)"No!" -- 17.8Kb

Junior03.jpg (24542 bytes)"He says he's very happy." -- 23.9Kb

Junior035.jpg (18708 bytes)"My leg's gone again." -- 18.2Kb

Junior04.jpg (22553 bytes)"It's not all roses at the top, is it?" -- 22.0Kb

Junior045.jpg (18239 bytes)"I've worked for simply oodles of shops." -- 17.8Kb

Junior05.jpg (24406 bytes)Mr. Humphries' reaction to Mr. Beauchamp. -- 23.8Kb

Junior055.jpg (23729 bytes) "Why'd you get rid of him so quickly?"  "Well, we don't want people like that working here!" -- 23.1Kb

Junior065.jpg (20994 bytes)"I've got it!  I've got it!  Corporal Peacock!" -- 20.5Kb

Junior06.jpg (21742 bytes)"Corporal" Peacock. -- 21.2Kb

Junior07.jpg (24899 bytes)24.3Kb

Junior08.jpg (27376 bytes)"It was you, wasn't it?" -- 26.7Kb

Junior09.jpg (25189 bytes)"My mother burst into tears on the doorstep...." -- 24.5Kb

Junior10.jpg (24151 bytes)Mr. Goldberg does some fast calculations. -- 23.5Kb

Junior105.jpg (18913 bytes)"I'm getting silver threads amongst the gold." -- 18.4Kb

Junior11.jpg (22921 bytes)"I thought the staff should like to have this photo if I go.  Should I stay...?" -- 22.3Kb

42. Strong Stuff, This Insurance

StrongStuff01.jpg (25643 bytes)"Should we take away a privilege, sir?" -- 25.0Kb

StrongStuff02.jpg (26945 bytes)Humphries tries out the "ting-a-ling" knickers. -- 26.3Kb

StrongStuff025.jpg (21154 bytes)"I intend to get a clean bill of health at the medical examination." -- 20.6Kb

StrongStuff035.jpg (15745 bytes) "It's not all men who are only after a quick fumble at the fire exit."  "Oh, so that's where you take 'em." -- 15.3Kb

StrongStuff037.jpg (22146 bytes)"I showed her something that altered her whole life." -- 21.6Kb

StrongStuff03.jpg (27152 bytes) The men get serious about exercise when they see the pretty doctor who'll be doing the exams.  --26.5Kb  
StrongStuff038.jpg (25539 bytes) "Hang on a minute--why am I doing this?"  "She's homeopathic."  "Oh!  Thanks for reminding me." -- 24.9

StrongStuff04.jpg (24719 bytes)Goldberg and Lucas before the ballet lesson. -- 24.1Kb

StrongStuff05.jpg (28442 bytes)"Don't say a word, Mr. Lucas." -- 27.7Kb

StrongStuff06.jpg (27670 bytes)"Darling!" -- 27.0Kb

StrongStuff07.jpg (30666 bytes)"I adore your aftershave." -- 29.9Kb

StrongStuff08.jpg (26659 bytes)Mrs. Slocombe tries out the bar.  -- 26.0Kb

StrongStuff09.jpg (28653 bytes)27.9Kb

StrongStuff10.jpg (29446 bytes)"Ow!" -- 28.7Kb

StrongStuff11.jpg (30035 bytes)The staff really gets into the act. -- 29.3Kb

StrongStuff12.jpg (36935 bytes)The grand finale. -- 36.0Kb

StrongStuff13.jpg (22862 bytes)Mr. Humprhies gets a bit of a shock. -- 22.3Kb

StrongStuff14.jpg (22783 bytes)"You're required to remove your clothes."  "Who said?" -- 22.2Kb

StrongStuff15.jpg (23406 bytes)"I'm not going any further until you turn and face the other way." -- 22.8Kb

StrongStuff16.jpg (19306 bytes)Mr. Goldberg has just announced that the nurse has gone to get them some hangers. -- 18.8Kb

StrongStuff17.jpg (28427 bytes)"Me alarm's working." -- 27.7Kb

StrongStuff18.jpg (29754 bytes)"Did you hear what he said?  Keep away, that's an order!" -- 29.0Kb

StrongStuff19.jpg (22692 bytes)"Ah!  You're all talk when you've got your trousers on but now you're losin' your bottle!" -- 22.1K

StrongStuff205.jpg (27002 bytes)The revenge of Brahms and Slocombe. -- 26.3Kb

StrongStuff20.jpg (33211 bytes)The staff eavesdrop at Young Mr. Grace's door. -- 32.4Kb

StrongStuff21.jpg (26359 bytes)"The knob's goin' to fall off." -- 25.7Kb

StrongStuff22.jpg (20089 bytes)"A bit older than it looks." -- 19.6Kb

StrongStuff23.jpg (25016 bytes)"Worth holding onto if you're going to have it stuffed." -- 24.4Kb

StrongStuff24.jpg (25612 bytes)25.0Kb

43. The Apartment

Apartment01.jpg (21150 bytes)"Mrs. Slocombe's residence, Harmon the butler here." -- 20.6Kb

Apartment02.jpg (18015 bytes)Mr. Humphries arrives seeking shelter. -- 17.5Kb

Apartment03.jpg (22147 bytes)21.6Kb

Apartment04.jpg (20337 bytes)"I thought, well, I'll just pop in and see Mrs. Slocombe..." -- 19.8Kb

Apartment05.jpg (23041 bytes)"...before I start my long, long, 15-mile, lonely walk home." -- 22.5Kb

Apartment06.jpg (25095 bytes)"...Friday, for some reason had been torn out." -- 24.5Kb

Apartment07.jpg (27736 bytes)"There's a lot of life in me as well!" -- 27.9Kb

Apartment08.jpg (26854 bytes)Fearing that his mother is at the door, Humphries bolts for the couch. -- 26.2Kb

Apartment09.jpg (28968 bytes)"Oh, it's all right, I haven't read this one." -- 28.2Kb

Apartment10.jpg (27183 bytes)Mrs. Slocombe comes on strong... -- 26.5Kb

Apartment105.jpg (27315 bytes)...but Humphries is saved by the bell. -- 26.6Kb

Apartment106.jpg (30913 bytes)"It's me, Lucas!" -- 30.1Kb

Apartment11.jpg (27087 bytes)"Mr. Humphries?"  "Lucas!"  "Thank heaven for that!" -- 26.4Kb

Apartment125.jpg (23869 bytes)Two more arrivals. -- 23.3Kb

Apartment126.jpg (27741 bytes)"At this rate, we'll be lucky if we arouse anything." -- 27.0Kb

Apartment12.jpg (24797 bytes)Tiddles gets nasty. -- 24.2Kb

Apartment135.jpg (28191 bytes)"Mr. Humphries, leave my pussy alone!" -- 27.5Kb

Apartment13.jpg (25540 bytes)That came as a bit of a shock. -- 24.9Kb

44. Mrs. Slocombe, Senior Person

MSSenior001.jpg (24279 bytes) "It is a little noisy, though, isn't it?"   "D'you know, we've never had that complaint before, have we, Mr. Lucas?" -- 23.7Kb

MSSenior002.jpg (19111 bytes)"This gentleman's practicing his exposure." -- 18.6Kb

MSSenior003.jpg (19008 bytes) "I know it takes all sorts to make a world, but may I suggest that you and your friend confine such activities to your leisure hours?" -- 18.5Kb

MSSenior004.jpg (22625 bytes)"I think the most suitable person to take over from me...." -- 22.0Kb

MSSenior005.jpg (16968 bytes)"H...Humphries--it's me!" -- 16.5Kb

MSSenior006.jpg (19329 bytes)"Lu--lu--lu--Lucas!  He's trying to say Lucas!" -- 18.8Kb

MSSenior007.jpg (19172 bytes) "Well, if you're looking for someone with drive, tact, ingenuity, class and charisma, I know the very person, but he's too modest to mention his name, so I'll just point." -- 18.7

MSSenior01.jpg (17091 bytes)"Mr. Lucas...that was very naughty." -- 16.6Kb

MSSenior02.jpg (25366 bytes)Mrs. Slocombe in the big chair.... -- 24.7Kb

MSSenior03.jpg (20465 bytes)"Forty-two and a rubber." -- 19.9Kb

MSSenior045.jpg (21302 bytes)"Oh my God...here we go...forty-two and the week ending October the fifth." -- 20.8Kb

MSSenior04.jpg (23419 bytes)"Now then, what's it like being in charge?" -- 22.8Kb

MSSenior05.jpg (22369 bytes) "Two weeks as management and you're automatically out the union, then you can't come back." -- 21.8Kb
MSSenior06.jpg (22764 bytes) "There are two meringues left...don't touch them yourself.  Have Mr. Harmon put on a pair of rubber gloves...." -- 22.2Kb

MSSenior07.jpg (18636 bytes)Mrs. Slocombe is suddenly taken ill by the meringues. -- 18.1Kb

45. The Hero

Hero002.jpg (17444 bytes)"There's a mouse around my drawers." -- 17.0Kb

Hero004.jpg (17789 bytes)The guys find out where Captain Peacock's boil is. -- 17.3Kb

Hero01.jpg (20609 bytes)"I wouldn't be that cheeky." -- 20.1Kb

Hero02.jpg (20289 bytes)"I doubt if they'll ever get to the bottom of it." -- 19.8Kb

Hero03.jpg (20758 bytes)"Oh, I expect they will in the end." -- 20.2Kb

Hero04.jpg (17626 bytes)Mr. Rumbold delivers a challenge. -- 17.2Kb

Hero042.jpg (17557 bytes)Boxing practice. -- 17.1Kb

Hero044.jpg (18053 bytes)"I can see quite a lot from here." -- 17.6Kb

Hero046.jpg (17159 bytes) "I swore before the high lama I would do no violence to any living thing, animal, vegetable, or insect." -- 16.7Kb
Hero048.jpg (20478 bytes) "Now, wrestling, that's another matter...I was known as 'Hugger' Humphries--they had to pull me off people.  D'you know, I was the catch-as-catch-can champion of the Barleymoor Road mixed infants?" -- 19.9Kb

Hero0485.jpg (20503 bytes)"Mr. Humphries?"  "I'm not free!" -- 20.0Kb

Hero0488.jpg (17349 bytes)"No!  Put me down!" -- 16.9Kb

Hero049.jpg (29513 bytes) "Take your trousers off."  "Oh!  I never thought those words could cause such mixed emotions." --  28.8Kb

Hero0491.jpg (27112 bytes)"Take his things off!"  "Ow!  You very nearly did!" -- 26.4Kb

Hero0492.jpg (18567 bytes)Lucas and Rumbold toss Humphries into the ring.... -- 18.1Kb

Hero0494.jpg (23727 bytes)A whiff of smelling salts before the match. -- 23.1Kb

Hero05.jpg (23179 bytes)"I've never seen anyone so keen." -- 22.6Kb

Hero052.jpg (24020 bytes)Franco chases Humphries around the ring. -- 23.4Kb

Hero06.jpg (16644 bytes)"Are you listening?"  "Well, I haven't got much choice, have I?" -- 16.2Kb

Hero063.jpg (21112 bytes) "The first thing we gotta do is whirl you around my shoulders and slam you onto the floor.  They call it a propeller."  "Oh!  What am I going to do?"  "You're going to let out an agonizing yell."  "I think I can manage that." -- 20.6Kb

Hero07.jpg (21510 bytes)"E's givin' 'im a flyin' propeller!" -- 21.0Kb

Hero073.jpg (18309 bytes) "That was a good yell--I think you've done this game before."  "But not with so many people watching." -- 17.8Kb
Hero075.jpg (18870 bytes) "Isn't it time I got you into something?"  "No, they've got to hate me first--and then when you get your revenge, they're gonna love you." -- 18.4Kb

Hero08.jpg (23601 bytes)"You big bully!  Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?" -- 23.0Kb

46. Anything You Can Do

AnythingYou01.jpg (18286 bytes)"She didn't use any bad language at all--she just gave me a right earful." -- 17.8Kb

AnythingYou02.jpg (18409 bytes)"Why are we waiting?  Why are we waiting...?" -- 17.9Kb

AnythingYou03.jpg (14280 bytes)"Told you." -- 13.9Kb

AnythingYou04.jpg (17808 bytes)"That's my toad-in-the-hole." -- 17.3Kb

AnythingYou05.jpg (21593 bytes)Humphries and Slocombe share the gloves. -- 21.0Kb

AnythingYou06.jpg (19630 bytes)"Aaaaaaah!" -- 19.1Kb

AnythingYou08.jpg (21718 bytes)21.2Kb

AnythingYou09.jpg (18796 bytes)"Don't be silly--only women are afraid of mice." -- 18.3Kb

AnythingYou10.jpg (16091 bytes)"I'm shishing as fast as I can!" -- 15.7Kb

AnythingYou11.jpg (18722 bytes)"Here's your soup, Mr. Grace." -- 18.2Kb

AnythingYou12.jpg (20534 bytes) "We, the undersigned, humbly apologize to the canteen staff of Grace Brothers for complaining about the food, the hygeine...." -- 20.0Kb

AnythingYou13.jpg (13733 bytes)"...and that cow of a manageress." -- 13.4Kb    (Sorry, Diana, his words, not mine!)

47. The Agent

Agent001.jpg (13816 bytes) "Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha...you've obviously not read the label.  This garment is made of pure giraffe wool." -- 13.4Kb

Agent01.jpg (14265 bytes)Peacock is determined to get his pay packet. -- 13.9Kb

Agent02.jpg (13601 bytes) "People who havenít got what you got are gettiní it."  "Are they?  Why aren't you getting it?"  -- 13.2Kb

Agent03.jpg (14364 bytes)"Because I haven't got what you've got." -- 14.0Kb

Agent04.jpg (15770 bytes)"Sign here." -- 15.4Kb

Agent05.jpg (16877 bytes)"There's just one thing I want you to know, Captain Peacock...." -- 16.4Kb

Agent06.jpg (14988 bytes)"I did--like that." -- 14.6Kb

Agent07.jpg (14783 bytes)"Tell Humphries, five-thirty behind the bandstand and Iíll take all the woo he can pitch." -- 14.4Kb

Agent09.jpg (15444 bytes)"Mrs. Slocombe, I don't pitch my woo in public." -- 15.0Kb

48. The Punch and Judy Affair

Punch001.jpg (21095 bytes)Humphries tries to cover the naked model. -- 20.6Kb

Punch01.jpg (22007 bytes)"I can't get the sauce out of the bottle." -- 21.4Kb

Punch02.jpg (17130 bytes)"Cannibalism, transvestism and meals on wheels." -- 16.7Kb

Punch03.jpg (21956 bytes)"Mr. Rumbold...?" -- 21.4Kb

Punch04.jpg (24298 bytes)"Remember, if you don't like it, you only have to say." -- 23.7Kb

Punch05.jpg (20248 bytes)"Oh!  That's the way to do it!" -- 19.7Kb

Punch06.jpg (20497 bytes)Mr. Rumbold starts the music too soon again. -- 20.0Kb

Punch10.jpg (19106 bytes)"It's not a question of not liking it, it's just a question of not yet!" -- 18.6Kb

Punch07.jpg (33685 bytes)"I'm a funny policeman." -- 32.8Kb

Punch08.jpg (20586 bytes)Mrs. Slocombe wallops Mr. Lucas.... -- 20.1Kb

Punch09.jpg (22488 bytes)...and wallops him again. -- 21.9Kb

Punch11.jpg (20903 bytes)"You're not gonna say it like that, are you?" -- 20.4Kb

Punch12.jpg (20889 bytes)"Listen to me, Punch!" -- 20.3Kb

Punch13.jpg (22907 bytes)"I'd no idea you could be so kind and understanding." -- 22.3Kb