(Episode descriptions annotated from Are You Being Served? 25 Years, by Richard Webber with David Croft and Jeremy Lloyd, 1998, and Are You Being Served? The Inside Story, by Adrian Rigelsford, Anthony Brown, and Geoff Tibballs, 1995.)

 

1st Season

01. Pilot Episode -- A reorganization at Grace Brothers Department Store leads to the cohabitation of Men's & Ladies' Wear Departments on the same floor. Since the gents have occupied the first floor for 25 years, the new arrangements prove to be difficult. New recruit Mr. Lucas sees a lot of potential in sharing space with the ladies, but Mr. Grainger and Mrs. Slocombe don't share his view and war is soon declared.

02. Dear Sexy Knickers -- Mr. Lucas writes a love note to Miss Brahms: "Dear Sexy Knickers, I don't 'alf fancy you. Meet me outside at 5:30 and we'll get it together." Unfortunately, the note makes its way into the wrong hands, and mayhem ensues.

03. Our Figures are Slipping -- To improve flagging sales, Mr. Rumbold holds an session in salesmanship. However, since it's held after hours, it doesn't prove to be popular with the staff.

04. Camping In -- When a transit workers' strike leaves the staff stranded, Young Mr. Grace provides tents for them to sleep in the store.

05. His and Hers -- A sexy salesgirl arrives to sell "His and Hers" perfume, displacing the central display stand. When the staff discovers that she is giving away promotional ties and stockings, they unite to protect their commissions by submarining the common enemy.

06. Diamonds Are a Man's Best Friend -- When a customer offers a 100 reward for the return of a missing diamond, it's every man for himself as the staff vie to find the lost gem.

2nd Season

07. The Clock -- It's time for Mr. Grainger's 65th birthday dinner, and he worries that his time may be up at Grace Brothers, especially when he hears the ticking of the dreaded cuckoo clock traditionally given by the store to retiring staffmembers.

08. Cold Comfort -- When the government requests cutbacks in energy usage, the store responds by shutting down the central heat, forcing the staff to use their ingenuity in order to prevent a frozen end.

09. The Think Tank -- After a sales dropoff, Captain Peacock suggests forming a think tank to study the problem. Their solution: a fashion show, but when Mr. Grace refuses to hire models, the staff resort to putting on the show themselves.

10. Big Brother -- Tempers flare when Mr. Rumbold installs a security camera on the floor, and the staff resolve to use his own hypochondria against him in order to get rid of the thing.

11. Hoorah for the Holidays -- Mr. Grace would like to close the store down for 2 weeks for redecoration, but convincing the staff to all take their holidays during that time period proves difficult.

3rd Season

12. The Hand of Fate -- Mr. Rumbold's imminent ascent to the Board of Directors has the staff wondering about their chances for promotion, and Mr. Humphries demonstrates his talent for palm-reading.

13. Coffee Morning -- When Captain Peacock orders that the staff clock in and out for their coffee breaks, Mr. Mash leads them in revolt, resulting in a rather Pyrrhic victory.

14. Up Captain Peacock -- To celebrate Captain Peacock's 20 years with Grace Brothers, he is given a key to the executive washroom and granted privileges to the executive dining room, rousing the ire of Mr. Grainger and Mrs. Slocombe.

15. Cold Store -- Mr. Lucas would like to call in sick because he has a girlfriend in town, but when Mr. Humphries and Mr. Grainger arrive at work feeling ill, his chances of taking the day off dwindle.

16. Wedding Bells -- The news that Mr. Grace plans on marrying one of the store's staff has Mrs. Slocombe thinking that she's the bride-to-be.

17. German Week -- The latest sales promotion at Grace Brothers is German Week, but unfortunately, all the customers seem to be Germans in search of British goods.

18. Shoulder to Shoulder -- The men are forced to share their counterspace with Mrs. Slocombe and Miss Brahms while the Ladies' Wear Department gets a facelift.

19. New Look -- An after-hours staff meeting produces an idea to introduce background music and a recorded voice; the only question is--whose voice?

20. Christmas Crackers -- Mr. Grace has an idea to improve Christmas sales--all the staff are to wear novelty costumes, much to their annoyance.

4th Season

21. No Sale -- When Mr. Grace decides to open the store early, the staff set out to sabotage the new policy.

22. Top Hat and Tails -- Mr. Humphries' background as a dance instructor is called upon when the Ladies' and Gents' Wear departments form a team to compete in the inter-store ballroom dancing competition.

23. Forward Mr. Grainger -- Mr. Grainger is selected to fill in for Mr. Rumbold while he is away; the staff wonder whether they should take advantage of Mr. Grainger's good nature, only to discover to their horror that he doesn't have one when he sacks Mrs. Slocombe.

24. Fire Practice -- After finding that Grace Brothers' fire precautions leave a lot to be desired, Mr. Harman helps out training the staff in fire preparedness and a fireman gives Mr. Humphries a lift.

25. Fifty Years On -- After Mrs. Slocombe starts dropping hints that it's her birthday, the staff calculate that she is 50 and plan an appropriate party.

26. Oh What a Tangled Web -- Rumors fly when Captain Peacock gets too friendly with Mr. Rumbold's secretary at the Christmas party, and things get really out-of-hand when it seems they might have spent the night together.

27. The Father Christmas Affair -- When the mechanical Father Christmas proves that it can't be trusted, Mr. Grace offers a bonus for one of the staff to portray the store Santa. Meanwhile, Mr. Humphries and Mr. Lucas attempt to help Mr. Grainger prepare for a song-and-dance show at an old-folks' home.

5th Season

28. Mrs. Slocombe Expects -- The staff have kittens when Mrs. Slocombe announces she's expecting a happy event, but it turns out that it's merely her cat that's pregnant; when she refuses to leave Tiddles unattended, she braves the ire of Captain Peacock by smuggling the cat into the ladies' fitting room.

29. A Change is as Good as a Rest -- When Mr. Grace announces that he plans on temporarily reorganizing the departments, the staff are indignant, but find that work can be a lot of fun...if you're working in the toy department.

30. Founder's Day -- To celebrate Mr. Grace's 80th birthday, the staff organize This is Your Department, a spoof of This is Your Life.

31. The Old Order Changes -- Young Mr. Grace returns from a trip to the U.S. with a host of new sales techniques that he is eager to implement.

32. Takeover -- The staff are shaken when Mr. Rumbold announces that rumors of a takeover bid are in the air. While the gang peruses the help wanted listings, Mr. Grace & Mr. Rumbold try to formulate a scheme to deflect the takeover. Dressed up as shareholders, Mr. Grainger, Mrs. Slocombe, Mr. Harmon and Miss Brahms put the plan into action.

33. Goodbye Mr. Grainger -- Mr. Grainger becomes so crabby that soon the rest of the staff are in Rumbold's office demanding his forced retirement; he catches wind of the scheme and resigns, but the others quickly feel sorry for him, especially when he wrongly thinks he's won 400,000 in the lottery.

34. It Pays to Advertise -- Not only have Mrs. Slocombe and Mr. Humphries been chosen as models for the store's newest display dummies but, along with the rest of the staff, they're appearing in a commercial as well. With Mr. Humphries directing, the usual mayhem ensues, particularly when Mrs. Slocombe loses a mike down her cleavage.

Are You Being Served? The Movie -- Mr. Grace sends the staff on holiday together while the store is closed down for redecoration, but first--Mrs. Slocombe gets her shots and a new passport photo, and Mr. Humphries devises a way to take an Arab sheik's inside leg without touching him. When they finally arrive at their destination, they find that the hotel doesn't have rooms for them and that they'll be staying in tents. Mr. Lucas and Captain Peacock both have high hopes with Miss Brahms, and Mrs. Slocombe anticipates a rendevous with Peacock. Before long, a rash of tent-swapping occurs, leading to Mr. Humphries having to impersonate Mrs. Slocombe and fend off the unwanted amorous attentions of a local revolutionary.

 


6th Season

35. By Appointment -- News breaks that royalty may pay a visit to the store. In preparation, everyone stays late to rehearse, with Captain Peacock and Mrs. Slocombe doubling for the Royal couple.

36. The Club -- Mr. Grace allows the staff to use a basement room for a social club. It needs a facelift, but with decorators estimating a bill of 500, the staff muck in and do it themselves; it soon becomes clear that decorating is not their cup of tea.

37. Do You Take This Man? -- Mrs. Slocombe thinks she's finally got her man, a bouzouki player in a Greek restaurant. The staff plan a reception at the store to help keep costs down, and her American uncle plans on giving the happy couple a house. Before they can leave for the church, however, the best man arrives with bad news, forcing Mr. Tebbs to don the garb of a Greek vicar and Mr. Humphries that of the bridegroom.

38. Shedding the Load -- It's every man for himself when Mr. Grace announces that he'll have to make staff cutbacks.

39. A Bliss Girl -- The Bliss perfume stand arrives without an assistant to sell it. Mr. Humphries is chosen to fill in, with Captain Peacock taking his place as sales assistant in Men's Wear.

40. Happy Returns -- It's Mr. Grace's birthday again. After the traditional free but inedible canteen lunch, Mr. Humphries directs the staff in a cabaret show, "The Ballet of the Toys."

7th Season

41. The Junior -- With the retirement of Mr. Tebbs, there's a new vacancy in the Men's Wear department, but the only applicant is Mr. Goldberg, who threatens Captain Peacock's position with tales of their army days.

42. Strong Stuff, This Insurance -- To prepare for upcoming insurance physicals, the staff attempt to improve their physical condition by taking ballet lessons. The men find themselves a bit chilly when no dressing gowns are available while they wait for their exams, and there's a shock in store when they hear the exam results.

43. The Apartment -- Mrs. Slocombe discoveres squatters in her new flat. Mr Grace allows her to temporarily move into a vacant space in the furniture department, but on the first night, a transit strike forces Mr. Humphries to move in with her. Unfortunately for Mrs. Slocombe, her hopes for a romantic tryst with Humphries are squashed when the rest of the staff shows up on her doorstep.

44. Mrs. Slocombe, Senior Person -- When Mr. Rumbold falls ill, Mrs. Slocombe is placed in charge, but finds that being the boss isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

45. The Hero -- Captain Peacock develops a boil in an embarrassing location, but is incensed when Mr. Franco of sporting goods spreads the news throughout the store. When he challenges Franco to a boxing match and then gets cold feet, it's up to Mr. Humphries to defend the Captain's honor.

46. Anything You Can Do -- After the staff complain about the canteen food, the kitchen workers go out on strike, forcing them to man the canteen themselves.

47. The Agent -- Mr. Goldberg starts running an employment agency on the side.

48. The Punch and Judy Affair -- When the staff of the Ladies' and Gents' departments don't participate in a strike, relations between them and the rest of the store's employees become understandibly bitter. In order to improve the mood, the staff presents a life-size Punch and Judy show for the other employees' children.

8th Season

49. Is It Catching? -- Mr. Humphries becomes ill and passes out on the work floor. He's diagnosed with marine's disease, resulting in the entire department being placed under quarantine.

50. A Personal Problem -- Captain Peacock comes to believe that his wife is having an affair with Mr. Rumbold.

51. Front Page Story -- Old Mr. Grace decides that the store should have an in-house magazine, and Mr.Humphries is appointed as editor.

52. Sit Out -- When business sags and wages are cut by ten percent, the staff wage a rooftop protest.

53. Heir Apparent -- Old Mr. Grace sees a photo of Mr. Humphries' mother, who turns out to be an old flame, prompting him to claim that the senior salesman is his son--and heir to the Grace Brothers throne.

54. Closed Circuit -- A new sales gimmick: advertisements on closed-circuit television.  When Miss Brahms' picture is used along with Mr. Grace's nurse's sexy voice, it leads to a dinner invitation by a lord. 
55. The Erotic Dreams of Mrs. Slocombe -- Mrs. Slocombe begins having recurrent dreams of a romantic entanglement with Mr. Humphries. Her relentless pursuit creates problems in the workplace, so a plan is formulated for him to make a "bold advance" in the hope that it will shock her back to her senses. However, things go awry when he makes his move at the ballet, leading to a sudden change in direction for the flamboyant salesman.

56. Roots? -- The staff decide to obtain a coat-of-arms for Old Mr. Grace's 90th birthday, but problems arise when they're unable to figure out exactly from where his ancestors came.

9th Season

57. Sweet Smell of Success -- Mrs. Slocombe develops a perfume to attract the opposite sex and suggests that everyone sell it on the side. Captain Peacock is dubious at first, but finds that though the perfume is effective, it mostly attracts trouble.

58. Conduct Unbecoming -- Mr. Humphries has an argument with his mother, who kicks him out of the house. He's hardly his usual self when he shows up drunk for work, but things go from bad to worse when money is missing from the till and the evidence points his way.

59. Memories are Made of This -- When the store's golf pro attempts to improve Captain Peacock's swing, it knocks Mrs. Slocombe on the forehead and causes her to revert to childhood.

60. Calling All Customers -- Grace Brothers decides to advertise on citizens' band radio, which ends up attracting the wrong sort of customer.

61. Monkey Business -- When the staff's pay rise is cancelled and a Japanese takeover appears to be in the works, the staff takes their protest to No. 10 Downing Street.

62. Lost and Found -- When Mrs. Slocombe's cat turns up missing, she decides that only Mr. Humphries could take its place.

10th Season

63. Goodbye Mrs. Slocombe -- Grace Brothers lowers its mandatory retirement age, and when Mrs. Slocombe returns to work after a two-week illness, she finds that she's about to lose her position. Her replacement is thoroughly abominable, and the senior staff set out to return Mrs. Slocombe to her rightful place.

64. Grounds For Divorce -- When Captain Peacock tries to salvage his marriage, he resorts to radical measures to discourage an admirer.

65. The Hold-Up -- When the store is robbed late one night, the staff determine to capture the burglars themselves.

66. Gambling Fever -- Security cameras are again installed at Grace Brothers, and when the staff bet their bonuses on a horse race, it's up to Mr. Humphries to mime the race to them by closed-circuit.

67. The Night Club -- When Old Mr. Grace decides to allow the staff to use the store for after-hours money-making, they decide to open a nightclub. However, the advertising campaign has some rather unexpected results.

68. Friends and Neighbors -- When traveling to and from work becomes difficult, the staff threaten to resign unless they receive a travel allowance. Old Mr. Grace offers them the empty apartments on the top floor as living space, but they soon discover cohabitation isn't what it's cracked up to be.

69. The Pop Star -- Mr. Spooner's performance in the staff concert receives notice in the paper, and the rest of the staff insist on backing him when he has a chance to perform on TV.